Instead of chicken wings or pizza, Al Gore said his favorite Superbowl food is the world’s biggest arachnid — the goliath bird-eating spider — breaded and deep fried.
Unfortunately, hard evidence of social gender constructs was impossible to find, and Muslim leaders around the world threatened to murder the entire team for assuming non-binary genders of the dead.
“Republicans are political vampires peddling dubious ideas,” Warren said. “Someone even said Democrats want negative energy pulled out of their butts. That rhetoric undermines our confidence in the Constitution.”
“Republicans are trying to dismantle the Constitution to keep an illegitimate president on the ballot,” said Kamala Harris, adding she will not accept the results of the 2020 election unless a Democrat wins.
After Elizabeth Warren said a 9-year-old transgender boy will pick her Secretary of Education, Bernie Sanders announced the Communist Youth League will pick his Secretary of Defense.
“The presiding officer declines to read the question as submitted,” Roberts said about Sen. Paul’s question, holding up a placard that looked suspiciously like the ubiquitous Facebook error message.
“Unless Mayor Pete does something dramatic, he’ll only win about 2% of naive voters who can’t find Ukraine on a map,” Sharpton said before praying over Buttigieg’s meal of fried chicken and collard greens.