Constant Mown, the Sub-Executive Vice Chamberlain for Dependencies and Director of Messengers of the Galactic Solicitor General’s Office, said in a vaguely threatening tweet that America deserves to have Earth replaced with a hyperspace bypass.
“We’ll buy the Bee for a dollar if my uncle doesn’t sabotage the deal,” said Newsom. “But Steinberg will have to keep the debt because that’s all government is good at anyway.”
In Detroit and other cities around the country, hundreds of feminists in floor-length burkas are sick and tired of taking responsibility for boys thoughts and won’t take it anymore.
“This land is your land, this land is my land, and legal precedent says I may not have the human right to live on the sidewalk and shout violent obscenities as a Senator, but I do as a homeless person,” Schumer said.
Schumer [stabbing Gorsuch in the neck]. “Hark, my blade is taken out of context, for this perceived threat was but a warning to Republican senators!”
“It’s probably a good thing Biden thinks he’s running for the Senate and doesn’t know if he’s in Iowa or Ohio,” said DNC chairman Tom Perez. “He’ll want his old senate seat back after the inauguration, anyway. Trust me.”
“The economic establishment and the political establishment is trying to sabotage our revolution,” Sanders said. “But now, with Crimson Dynamo at my side, we will show America the true power of Socialist technology!”