Live-tweeting from Dixon, California, it’s Straight Pride American Month
6:00 p.m. A helicopter has landed in front of City Hall, festooned with SPAM logos. A man dressed like Evel Knievel is getting into the helicopter.
Father’s Day: 7 things white dads can do to be an ally for kids, society, and the planet
This is literally the least we can do for you, and you need to be okay with that or we can just skip to #7. Happy Father’s Day.
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Chick-fil-A offers Muslim halal chicken so Twitter CEO can eat at anti-gay restaurant without apologizing
Jack Dorsey was quick to tweet new pics of a halal chicken sandwich receipt, writing, “You’re right, everyone can now completely forget about their background.”
Study: Children with ‘lazy eye’ benefit most when both eyes treated equally
By patching both eyes of children in the control group, doctors found that the parts of the brain involved in moral reasoning developed a stronger sense of fairness and social justice.
Audacious: Gavin Newsom proposes ‘safe word’ as California struggles with restraints of Donald Trump
Anonymous sources say Newsom plans to convert the Capitol basement into an Eco Fitness gym that uses modified exercise bikes to push power back into the electrical grid. Political appointees in charge of social policy would be harnessed to the bikes until they utter the safe word “audacious.”
Poverty expert: Half of America’s poor could be eliminated by U.N. camps
“If the U.S. had given us half of the $22 trillion spent since the ‘war on poverty’ began in the 1960s, the U.N. could have eliminated almost 20 million poor people,” said U.N. expert Philip Alston.
California’s ‘Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart’ is almost complete!
“California will protect our humble public servants from radical authoritarians who forcibly suppress their opposition by controlling industry, commerce, and transportation,” said our virtuous Attorney General.
UC student protest delivers burrito bowls to Gov. Brown, Chipotle announces recall of burrito bowls
“The reason we wish death on the governor is that so many students don’t even have enough to eat,” said Engorged California spokesman Hugh Mungous.
