The hard work of ending toxic masculinity may never be done, but HBO is having a go with a new explicit TV series featuring up to 60 erect male human penises per episode.
Editor’s note: This article was written anonymously by the early #Resistance movement in the dark days of 2004, before the glorious American Socialist regime took power in 2008 and was then unceremoniously ambushed by voters in the coup of 2016. The Sacramento Brie is reproducing it here as a reminder of the evils of American…
“The deaths began when President Obama said you can keep your doctor, and have been escalating ever since,” said a spokesman from Kaléo Pharmaceuticals, which is managing the trials.
“We’re just cutting to the chase,” said Mayor Steinberg. “Rather than waiting for full socialism to come to us, we’re going full socialist while we can still control the outcome.”
Trump has declassified photos proving that climate change has destroyed most of London one year ahead of a 2004 schedule provided by the Pentagon.
“You’re living in a completely delusional world, of a kind that teenagers might live in, very desperate, very angry, and you’ve picked tactics that are harmful, you’ve caused yourselves a lot of harm as well,” Chomsky said.
Transgodzilla’s signature weapon will no longer be the unstoppable force of atomic breath, but the immovable object known as “resting bitch face” that will defeat the male gaze once and for all.
“The algorithm said our approach had a 97% chance of eliminating inequality,” said Sergey Brin. “Maybe a society that believes some people are more fit than others is just doomed to fail.”
“It’s like cowbell. You can never have too much Barack Obama,” said Principal Carol Lewis of Barack Obama Middle School.
“I’m really embarrassed,” said one judge. “I’ve repeatedly assured my friends English is both racist and too hard for people of color to learn, but seven of our eight winners this year are brown children.”
“Aztlan will continue to honor the old gods and the new by protecting a woman’s right to abortion even if she has no uterus,” says an executive proclamation.
“We held our colleague to high professional standards and we believe she has appropriately fled the country,” said the school principal.
