“Not a single Senator escaped the gravity of the moment,” said Fox News Sunday’s Chris Wallace, while House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said she’s confident God wants her to continue without the Senate.
“If faced with allowing sexism against women or allowing the existence of Communist prison camps, Democratic Socialists choose prison camps,” said a national co-chair of the Sanders campaign.
Huey P. “Navin” Newsom, the disowned nephew of Pope Gavin Newsom, noticed a foreboding statistic in the traffic logs of his small, but growing, right-wing satire site.
Critics who said it would cost $3.7 billion to supply beds for 92,000 unsheltered people have not been heard from since the papal press conference ended.
The Duchess of Mouseton has renounced the royal household and moved in with Canadian billionaire Sylvester Shyster, the evil uranium mining mastermind who has promised Minnie her own TV show.
The governor launched CalDOPE this week, saying, “we’re taking power out of the hands of greedy pharmaceutical companies and putting it in the hands of selfless public servants who can’t be sued.”
Sweden: “Obese people are each responsible for more than a ton of carbon dioxide emissions a year, equivalent to going on a transatlantic flight.”
Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in a statement that the West “should continue to deport women who criticize the hijab until they learn just how empowering it is.”
A decade after being convinced the disorder of the world could be transcended with smart power, journalists staged a “die in” at the company’s printing plant.
Editor’s note: We don’t post straight news. But when we do, it’s even more ridiculous than our satire.
The Sustainability Director was fired when he posted on Twitter that his Energy Star dishwasher and Green Seal certified leaf blower both failed on the same day and that USDA Organic doesn’t guarantee anything is organic.
That boy scout didn’t have a chance. His fate was sealed before he got off a commercial airliner in Baghdad to bring the scouting ethic to the war-torn country of Iraq.
