“When evil Christian restaurant owners force their workers to serve healthy food and be nice to people, we have to act,” said third-wave feminist Lovechild Vaginica.
“This campaign isn’t a democracy,” said Sanders’ CFO Yuri Larin. “It’s impossible to finish off capitalism without having finished off social democracy in the working-class movement.”
Women won’t work in the sewers because they’re too cold and filthy. A new plan would add adjustable thermostats and hot showers in key underground areas.
“Once we force gig workers to join a union, clock in at 8 a.m. and take their breaks on schedule, they won’t feel like wage slaves anymore,” Warren said.
Educational conditions under Common Core do not allow the plant to continue, but IKEA will do everything it can to help workers find less logical work.
The Roofing Collective will still honor the warranty of any roof installed by the previous owners, but if they can’t their working class customers will understand.
“We only noticed these trash mountains when a government official got sick,” said Mayor Garcetti. “Experts say they may have always been there but no one of consequence noticed them before.”
