“I can’t quite believe it yet, but Mr. Hogg convinced a ragtag group of farmers that weapons of war like the AK-47 should not be in the hands of civilians,” said US special envoy Zalmay Khalilzad.
“The world looks to America for the values that unite us,” said Biden. “If we assert commonsense leadership, we can bring back the 12th Imam and ensure peace in our time.”
Editor’s note: This article was written anonymously by the early #Resistance movement in the dark days of 2004, before the glorious American Socialist regime took power in 2008 and was then unceremoniously ambushed by voters in the coup of 2016. The Sacramento Brie is reproducing it here as a reminder of the evils of American…
“We’re fighting the enemy on the International Front, the Industrial Front, the Political Front, and the Personal Front,” said hopeful Supreme Leader Warren. “But today we open the Military Front.”
Waleed Shahid of Justice Democrats says India needs to lighten up. “Cow genocide is third on our list. The first two goals are net-zero farting cows, and that cows be milked only with their express verbal consent.”
Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) enlists Ben Shapiro as SecDef and says “we begin bombing coal plants in China and India 10 minutes after the inauguration.”
“If the Eagle at the top of the Tree of the Great Peace sees in the distance any danger threatening these principles, he will at once warn the people of the Nation,” said Warren.