“If they go low, we kick them, threaten to bomb the White House, and publish presidential assassination porn in the New York Times,” said Eric Holder. “Civility can wait until after The Purge.”
When the panicked mob of infantile zombies in swaddling towels storms out Kafka’s castle to put you on trial with the hysterical axiom that you’re guilty precisely because you deny your guilt, the moral thing to do is watch them drown while confirming Supreme Court justices.
“You can call your plan whatever you want – single payer, Medicare for all, or the Bolivarian National Surgical Plan – but my study found the exact opposite of what you just said!” Blahous charged.
“They throw them everywhere: in the ocean, in the sand, in the trash can,” said Charles Bukowski, a Venice Beach maintenance worker who regularly finds dismembered scooters on the boardwalk.
Bernie Sanders will not have armed security. Instead, he will be surrounded by up to 10,000 unarmed Great Patriots from nudist communes and college campuses nationwide.
All Journalists Matter, but some journalists matter more than others, so UNESCO has hired special operators to neutralize that inequality by the year 2030.
Me: Did you hear about the man with multiple personalities who shot himself outside the White House? Nathan Hale: Yes. Another terrible mass shooting. What will it take for people to give up their guns?