“I bought $300 worth of food and got a 50-cent per gallon discount,” said Sacramento resident Jorma Kaukonen, an elderly single woman who usually spends $50 a week on groceries.
“For years we started our flights with the binary ‘ladies and gentlemen’ or ‘mesdames et messieurs,'” said spokesperson Naomi Deplume. “We now realize just how offensive that was.”
“The schedule is challenging because Greta could be dead from climate change before she reaches the Pacific,” said expedition leader Mårten Thorslund.
Gov. Gavin Newsom said he was “outraged” at the Mongolian pilot’s decision to land in North Korea, but admitted that passengers were better off than they would be in San Francisco.
At least Hammurabi demanded an eye for an eye. You lose an eye on the mean streets of Bronze Age LA, good luck getting Mayor Garcetti to pay up.
“It’s like cowbell. You can never have too much Barack Obama,” said Principal Carol Lewis of Barack Obama Middle School.
“Aztlan will continue to honor the old gods and the new by protecting a woman’s right to abortion even if she has no uterus,” says an executive proclamation.
