“It’s like cowbell. You can never have too much Barack Obama,” said Principal Carol Lewis of Barack Obama Middle School.
“Aztlan will continue to honor the old gods and the new by protecting a woman’s right to abortion even if she has no uterus,” says an executive proclamation.
“The city council decided to pay residents not to shoot each other,” said Mayor Tubbs, “but that seemed like a waste of money in light of Stockton’s problem with moving vehicle violations.”
The former “president for everybody” said that “Republicans can get on the bus at the corner of Obama and MLK, but they’ll have to ride in the back.”
The Pieseln Institute team said they were shocked at the “urine motor” directive because their study recommends “methane engine” technology, which emits one-third the CO2 of diesel motors.
“I’m the government, and I’m here to help our 680,000 El Salvadoran immigrants who export up to $500 million a month to their home country,” Newsom said as pallets of cash were loaded into a Cal Guard C-130 at Travis Air Force Base.
Researchers responsible for the robot driving systems have hired lawyers and crisis-management consultants in anticipation of social justice protests.