“Due to your sudden refusal to provide a government airplane for the Democratic majority’s seven-day excursion … we will be running train instead,” wrote the Speaker.
Julian Assange, granted asylum by Ecuador in 2012, will travel by caravan to Los Angeles. Gov. Newsom has promised a “wall” to keep out the “enemy immigrant.”
“My climate conscience will no longer allow me the convenience of flying around the state,” said Kounalakis. “If people want to meet, they can come here, where we measure our carbon footprint with a yardstick.”
“The ‘bullet train’ stopped being an actual bullet train when we realized we’d have to share low-speed track with local commuter and freight services,” said a worker in Fresno who asked to remain anonymous. “That was in 2012.”
Saint Colin prays with Occupy and firebombs a series of naval bases before being ensconced in a palatial home and preparing himself with spiritual rigor for his pitch to the Goddess Nike.
Developing – A Hooters Air flight from Twig, Minnesota, to Intercourse, Pennsylvania, was forced to make an emergency landing in Spread Eagle, Wisconsin, by a woman claiming to have an “emotional support penis.”
CHP posted a humorous comment on Facebook. The Agricultural Labor Relations Board threatened to report it to the Department of Human Resources.
