State government adds ‘RIOT’ and ‘RESIST’ buttons to elevators

“The state’s emergency plan requires employees to resist fascism,” said spokesman Hassan Chop. “The ‘RIOT’ button takes loyal employees to the garage level where we store signs, masks, and other materials useful for rooting out fascists.”

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Too damn high: California drug cartel cuts weed tax to stimulate economy

“High taxes don’t usually harm a Progressive economy because our ideas are so good they don’t have any competition,” said Assemblyman Rob Bonta, D-Alameda. “But when bad actors are more competitive on price and cost, we need to level the playing field for good actors. At least temporarily.”