“We all knew Kim Jong Un had requested famous basketball players to normalize relations between the two countries,” Curry said. “But frankly, I thought it would be Dennis Rodman.”
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi excused Biden’s rant. “What else can we expect from the Vice President when Syracuse only made it to the round of 64 this year?”
“It definitely was not LeBron’s intent to hurt anybody,” said Tamika Mallory. “It is a compliment to say slave-owning Jews hold all the wealth, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a racist, especially that termite Zuckerberg.”
Saint Colin prays with Occupy and firebombs a series of naval bases before being ensconced in a palatial home and preparing himself with spiritual rigor for his pitch to the Goddess Nike.
Leaders of the affected European nations all said “no comment.”
“Highly-paid national leaders of The Resistance who have vaginas between their legs can’t even fly American without crying and getting nationwide press attention,” said Jackson.
Coach: “I have no idea how our wide receivers are going to run their routes. Although maybe it will help them keep one foot inbounds. This is a real game changer.”