Experts say the number of powerful vaginas available worldwide is never more than a few hundred, and the new spike in demand has already caused a shortage.
In Detroit and other cities around the country, hundreds of feminists in floor-length burkas are sick and tired of taking responsibility for boys thoughts and won’t take it anymore.
“It’s really important for me to tell nine-year-old children who might not be gay tomorrow that their pride in being gay is the center of gravity that holds this country together,” said the former mayor of South Bend.
“Unlike privileged white porn workers, brown undocumented porn workers already know how to safely operate industrial sex machines,” said Cristina Garcia (D-Bell Gardens).
Firm decisions about sex and gender have not yet been made for the characters because lawyers are not sure they can legally make such assignments for fictional people.
Scientists admit they don’t know why menstruating men have fewer symptoms of ‘toxic masculinity’ with higher doses of the substance that makes men toxic in the first place.
“If just one dad at their most vulnerable can take that last piece of clothing off without shaming their neighbor’s kids, then that serves our purpose,” said Sesame Workshop.