“Ms. Almánzar, previously arrested for assault and reckless endangerment, told an infirm senior citizen that she was filming a political campaign video,” the U.S. Attorney allegedly said.
“I wish we’d thought of enlisting a fascist dictator,” said one Guerrilla Girl. “It’s like our 35-year effort has been for nothing.”
The hard work of ending toxic masculinity may never be done, but HBO is having a go with a new explicit TV series featuring up to 60 erect male human penises per episode.
“Aztlan will continue to honor the old gods and the new by protecting a woman’s right to abortion even if she has no uterus,” says an executive proclamation.
“They lured us into a seminar on ‘government ethics’ and the next thing I know I’m waking up in the hospital,” said one city official who was found unconscious on the floor of the local resort.
The giant asshole remains open to Democrat voters in the 2020 presidential campaign because his staff “never allowed [his] shortcomings to get in the way.”
“A man needs an opinion about a woman’s uterus like a fish needs a bicycle,” said male feminist protester Auden Finch. “I’m outraged on behalf of all women.”