Scientists unfazed after 73 computer models failed to accurately predict Climate Change and the worldwide phenomena of “Hot Women Posing With Guns.”
Good news: Griffin might die soon. Bad news: She’s only 59, and could subject us to 16 more years of her unbearable personality before offing herself so no one remembers her as feeble, ineffectual, and pathetic, instead of gross, hateful, and pathetic.
A peer-reviewed study conducted by Vanna White has found that Democrat presidential candidate Joe Biden didn’t know anything, and doesn’t know when he didn’t know it.
“Joe has been marked safe,” said campaign chairman Jennifer O’Malley Dillon. “And I’m used to this kind of weirdness after chairing Beto’s failed campaign, so there’s no need to be alarmed.”
In a pivotal press conference today, President Trump blamed the COVID-19 virus on a viral Internet video that originated in the U.S., and the media immediately stopped blaming him for botching the COVID-19 response.
Your mission is to build an elite disease disinformation team to push as many people as possible into panic and permanently weaken America. The first player to implement International Socialism wins.
“Data is transmitted to NORAD via the Geosynchronous Toilet Paper Tracking Satellite, or GitPits as the enlisted Space Force members have fondly named it,” said Master Chief Petty Officer of Space Force Kevin Davis.