Thought leaders hold Homeless Summit, decide Jesus was right
Mayor and news columnist meet in thought bubble, decide Jesus Christ was right: “The homeless will always be with us.”
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Prime Minister orders Lord’s Prayer broadcast across New Zealand in solidarity with Christian victims of terror
Ardern wore a mitre in solidarity with the Pope. And thousands gathered at churches in other cities, with many non-Christians wearing traditional religious clothing from the Bible.
Bernie releases tax returns, joins Faith of the Seven Gods
“I’ve spent years ranting against the excesses of the wealthiest Americans, and now I’m a member of the 1%,” the presidential contender admitted. “So I had the seven-pointed star carved into my forehead to prove my devotion to Our Revolution.”
CNN: Islamberg bomb plot proves Christianity can be a ‘religion of peace’
Tribal elder Phillips told CNN’s Don Lemon, “In many parts of the Muslim world, it is common for people of faith to encourage other people of faith by invading their places of worship. I’m certain that if we all do that more often we can speed up the process of American Islamization.”
Saint Colin continues his quest to preach truth to the powerful Goddess Nike
Saint Colin prays with Occupy and firebombs a series of naval bases before being ensconced in a palatial home and preparing himself with spiritual rigor for his pitch to the Goddess Nike.
Democrats cancel vote on clean water to rally against In-N-Out Burger
“I want to quote from a portion of Leviticus. ‘Treat the stranger among you, as if he were one of your own, for ye yourself were a stranger in the land of Egypt.’ Now get out there and boycott the shit out of In-N-Out Burger!”
2023 Women’s World Cup to feature ‘national team of Andalus’
Leaders of the affected European nations all said “no comment.”
