You probably think you know how not to be a racist. You’re probably wrong.
Anti-colonial activists protesting the Monroe Doctrine ripped down a statue of President James Monroe’s wife on Wednesday, according to officials in Los Angeles.
Biden punched back twice as hard. “Democrats had ya’ll in chains back then. I worked with segregationists, but I’d be happy to have Cory under me in the White House even if he doesn’t apologize.”
“I’m really embarrassed,” said one judge. “I’ve repeatedly assured my friends English is both racist and too hard for people of color to learn, but seven of our eight winners this year are brown children.”
Sensing a shift in the zeitgeist, Newsweek updated its iconic 2009 magazine cover with a new hot take: “We Are Not All Racists Now.”
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi excused Biden’s rant. “What else can we expect from the Vice President when Syracuse only made it to the round of 64 this year?”
Researchers responsible for the robot driving systems have hired lawyers and crisis-management consultants in anticipation of social justice protests.