Researchers responsible for the robot driving systems have hired lawyers and crisis-management consultants in anticipation of social justice protests.
“Until now, CNN has aimed its promotion of fictional hate crimes to a narrow audience,” said Lemon. “That’s old school. Now we can take advantage of the pain and anger of racism in a way that no one has done before.”
The het-up crowd lost a few degrees of distemper as Sharpton began to murmur like Barry White giving birth to Rudyard Kipling.
Elizabeth Warren is resisting the group’s identification with Motown, saying disco is more multicultural. “We should be paying tribute to the Village People.”
Northam’s advisors held focus groups to see if he had enough support to continue as governor, according to several people, and opinions of constituents were more positive when he identified as a woman of color.
The group will organize around International Women’s Day instead, and explore the possibility of importing more foreign black women by ship to improve diversity.
“It definitely was not LeBron’s intent to hurt anybody,” said Tamika Mallory. “It is a compliment to say slave-owning Jews hold all the wealth, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a racist, especially that termite Zuckerberg.”