In a pivotal press conference today, President Trump blamed the COVID-19 virus on a viral Internet video that originated in the U.S., and the media immediately stopped blaming him for botching the COVID-19 response.
“We’ll buy the Bee for a dollar if my uncle doesn’t sabotage the deal,” said Newsom. “But Steinberg will have to keep the debt because that’s all government is good at anyway.”
Experts say the move to suppress other voices could be motivated by revenge, or it could just be a typical strategy often employed by Democrats.
American media oligarchs are preparing cities and towns across the country for the Democratic Primaries by outfitting TV trucks with massive bleach sprayers to eliminate any source of illicit information.
“I am sad because world wants me erased from history of climate movement.” said the former dictator who has turned his managerial talents to organizing climate activists.
“I’m just doing my job!” she said, dabbing wet mascara from her eyelids. “I don’t understand why no one believes me!”
Huey P. “Navin” Newsom, the disowned nephew of Pope Gavin Newsom, noticed a foreboding statistic in the traffic logs of his small, but growing, right-wing satire site.