President Trump flipped the bird on Friday, causing every single American of voting age to change their mind about whether the gesture is offensive or not.
“I’m really embarrassed,” said one judge. “I’ve repeatedly assured my friends English is both racist and too hard for people of color to learn, but seven of our eight winners this year are brown children.”
“We held our colleague to high professional standards and we believe she has appropriately fled the country,” said the school principal.
The country is also leaving the Commonwealth because Queen Elizabeth II descends from the German House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and 74% of Kiwis are of European ancestry.
Experts say the decision could cause Mexico serious economic damage — not because there are many dialects of Nahuatl, but because “some of those dialects are mutually unintelligible.”
The switch was announced when it became clear that the “natural evolution” of French wasn’t happening fast enough and millions of Muslim immigrants demanded a more feminist language.
My new apartheid-free language, derived from the ancient mother continent, can build a new separate but equal California. A language I call “Afrikaan.”