News of the tautological: Obama Phone comes preinstalled with malware
Enemies of democracy want to kill a program that helps the government understand the behavior of millions of needy Americans by giving them phones preinstalled with “malware.”
Jerry Brown: ‘For great justice, all your bandwidths are belong to us. Lulz.’
Gov. Brown says his approach will make the Democrats’ spirit ultimately uncrushable. “You may think we’re playing Net Neutrality,” he said. “But be warned: We’re actually playing Something Awful.”
Chick-fil-A offers Muslim halal chicken so Twitter CEO can eat at anti-gay restaurant without apologizing
Jack Dorsey was quick to tweet new pics of a halal chicken sandwich receipt, writing, “You’re right, everyone can now completely forget about their background.”
Rep. Schiff: ‘Russian ads weaponized my talking points to divide the nation’
“Yes, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and we must erase them from history. But all patriotic Americans should resent Russian meddling in our Cultural Revolution,” said Schiff.
Digital SS executes Instant Messenger day after Net Neutrality dies
“First they came for AOL,” said Al Gore, inventor of the Internet. “Who’s next if I say nothing because I didn’t have Instant Messenger?”
Colbert: ‘When will we get common-sense mass media reform?’
Every American recoils in horror as journalistic spume sprays from every outlet of the body politic. It’s odious and repugnant, but the media is addicted.
Xavier Becerra humbly accepts Leland Yee Award, says not possible without Hillary
“I protected our democracy from a politically-motivated witch hunt,” said Becerra. “But I have to give all props to Hillary Clinton. It wouldn’t have been possible without her trailblazing efforts in digital transparency.”
