Buttigieg has cancelled his appearances in all 50 states, Canada, and Mexico. A spokesman did not say when the Democratic presidential candidate would cancel the remainder of his world tour.
“Jerry, take drink, you look little dehydrated, comrade,” said De Blasio after announcing enhanced surveillance of PS 149. “You seem little dehydrated, da? You are OK? Jerry?”
Sacramento Mayor Darrell Steinberg said “keeping police out of black communities where they don’t belong would go a long way toward ending white privilege.”
“We only noticed these trash mountains when a government official got sick,” said Mayor Garcetti. “Experts say they may have always been there but no one of consequence noticed them before.”
“You can call your plan whatever you want – single payer, Medicare for all, or the Bolivarian National Surgical Plan – but my study found the exact opposite of what you just said!” Blahous charged.
The city plans to eradicate hepatitis by paying the homeless and former felons to staff a network of “safe and clean” public bathrooms.
“That people would go to such lengths speaks to a deep human need for self esteem. So we’re going to bring this clandestine procedure out of apartments and airport hotel rooms,” said Portland’s mayor.