Bernie releases tax returns, joins Faith of the Seven Gods

“I’ve spent years ranting against the excesses of the wealthiest Americans, and now I’m a member of the 1%,” the presidential contender admitted. “So I had the seven-pointed star carved into my forehead to prove my devotion to Our Revolution.”

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Gavin Newsom to deliver pallets of remittances to El Salvador

“I’m the government, and I’m here to help our 680,000 El Salvadoran immigrants who export up to $500 million a month to their home country,” Newsom said as pallets of cash were loaded into a Cal Guard C-130 at Travis Air Force Base.