“I wanted to show my support by letting Democrats buy the zero-cent penny so we can take their money and give it to people who have no money to spend,” said Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey.
“CAP is just a bunch of capitalist sellouts,” said the Editor in Chief. “I can’t believe Trump broke us and I’m learning to code.”
“I’ve spent years ranting against the excesses of the wealthiest Americans, and now I’m a member of the 1%,” the presidential contender admitted. “So I had the seven-pointed star carved into my forehead to prove my devotion to Our Revolution.”
“I’m the government, and I’m here to help our 680,000 El Salvadoran immigrants who export up to $500 million a month to their home country,” Newsom said as pallets of cash were loaded into a Cal Guard C-130 at Travis Air Force Base.
California has so many plans to spend more money that actual government spending is at risk unless the state gets more money to spend on the plans, said Finance Director Keely Bosler.
The National Treasury chief said there’s no room on the bill to illustrate its actual value, but the portrait of Marx is “more important than the Yankee imperialist concept of worth.”
President Nicolas Maduro ordered the production of the new Karl Marx bills despite being unable to say exactly how much a “less than zero bolivar” is worth. The official exchange rate is currently 49,478 bolivars per U.S. dollar.