Floatopia competes with Earth Day for record garbage haul
Thousands of Climate Change believers descended on Chesapeake Bay for Floatopia 2019 in an effort to beat Earth Day for the most square miles of garbage left behind.
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Fine dining: Sacramento taxes people for not finishing their food
“This is yet another example of Sacramento’s comprehensive, intentional actions that will increase diversity and equity in the city’s economy,” said Chan. “If people stop dining out we’ll just tax them at home, too.”
Revolutionary toxic waste program treats homeless humans just like dogs
The recycling program — named “Doo The Right Thang” — assumes that it doesn’t matter if dogs or humans are responsible for the city’s toxic waste.
Protected bird lays eggs in DNC headquarters, Democrats postpone 2020 election
The killdeer, or Charadrius vociferus, is protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act and derives its name from the Provençal word for “charade” and the Latin “vociferari.”
Green New Deal demands death of all cows in India
Waleed Shahid of Justice Democrats says India needs to lighten up. “Cow genocide is third on our list. The first two goals are net-zero farting cows, and that cows be milked only with their express verbal consent.”
‘Green New Toy’ program recalls billions of fossil fuel vehicles
After toddlers have been disenfranchised, Democratic Socialists expect to target gas-powered radio-controlled vehicles popular among teens and young adults.
U.N. to retroactively kill people not affected by seas that didn’t rise in 1989
U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres has announced a new plan to save millions of people from rising sea levels by the year 2031: Kill retirees who didn’t die the last time oceans didn’t rise.
