“Voter ID is dangerous for planet Earth,” said Bernie Sanders, who also said Democracy requires extending the ban to plastic credit and debit cards.
“In 2020, white people can’t vote for a presidential candidate who’s brown enough, so it’s vitally important that they feel guilty about that,” said Al Sharpton, who led the project for an undisclosed amount of money.
“This campaign isn’t a democracy,” said Sanders’ CFO Yuri Larin. “It’s impossible to finish off capitalism without having finished off social democracy in the working-class movement.”
“It’s not like we can just launch a covert investigation of political manipulation by foreign agents,” former CIA Director Brennan said on CNN. “Who do you think we are?”
“A sitting president just can’t unmask foreign intelligence assets hired by the Democrat Party to stage an honest coup,” said Brennan. “This is a serious and outrageous move on the part of Mr. Trump.”
NBC News, MSNBC and Telemundo — which are hosting the event — sent reporters to the address provided by the firm and found an empty lot.
None of the parties have accepted the election results, a deadlock that everyone blames on the “meddling Communist from Vermont.”