Sanders says what Barack Obama says, that Communist countries have made more progress on healthcare, literacy, poverty, transportation, and ballet than any country in history, and that America should rebuild the Berlin Wall.
“With GPS, we can track a $20 bill from the Assembly Committee on Budget to the pocket of a homeless drug addict defecating in a potted plant,” said Assemblyman David Chiu of San Francisco.
If you are threatening to murder someone, the new Commandment requires police to deescalate the situation with a stern warning.
“I’ve learned that correct change cannot be known objectively,” said one customer. “Next time I buy a $3 coffee with a $20 bill and only get $1 back, I’ll be eliminating a little bit of racism from the world.”
A draft proposal says “only the federal government can enforce the licensing requirements of individuals who routinely work from home with substances that are strictly controlled by the same government.”
“Dr. Cusack proved himself to be a true ally of Palestine,” said University President Dr. Amiri Baraka. “Today we honor him with a Doctorate in Applied Sciences of Surface to Surface Missile Technology.”
Carlos and the other 149 campers start chanting the motto of Camp Agape: “Redistribution sets you free.” Fifteen minutes later, I’m convinced the phrase can never be fully eradicated from my mind and I’m strangely okay with that.