Poor third world women demand end to all fossil fuels by 2021
“I’m in the best shape of my life even without a functioning national healthcare system,” said one woman. “I’m happy we’re not participating in the orgy of fossil-energy consumption.”
Green advertising must reaffirm the patriarchy to save the planet
“We don’t know exactly how or when it happened, but it appears that men prefer to buy things they identify with manliness,” scientists say.
Social justice requires rewrite of National Electrical Code
Language in the electrical code is largely perceived as violence or hate speech. Democrat legislation would mandate new wiring standards that use inclusive pastels instead of harsh racist colors.
Nike unveils new 'JV Team' shoe
Sports apparel powerhouse Nike has announced a new football cleat designed to help Colin Kaepernick get a job.
Starbucks: Correct change is racist because it ‘operates as whiteness’
“I’ve learned that correct change cannot be known objectively,” said one customer. “Next time I buy a $3 coffee with a $20 bill and only get $1 back, I’ll be eliminating a little bit of racism from the world.”
Sam Donaldson denies using South African mohair subsidies for personal gain
Shadowy figures in the South African government’s mohair subsidy market have accused Donaldson of using ties to powerful American media men to influence the worldwide production of toupees.
Venezula hikes minimum wage, pays workers 275% more ‘less than zero’ Bolivars
“We are providing both confidence and stability by paying 150,000 bolivars per hour instead of 40,000,” said lawmaker Francisco Torrealba.
