“It’s probably a good thing Biden thinks he’s running for the Senate and doesn’t know if he’s in Iowa or Ohio,” said DNC chairman Tom Perez. “He’ll want his old senate seat back after the inauguration, anyway. Trust me.”
“The Electoral College is undemocratic and boring,” said Pete Buttigieg. “HJR 42 would be equally undemocratic but way more exciting, and in a democracy voter turnout is king.”
Carville also said Democrats “might have to vote for a Socialist cult leader because what we need is power! Do you understand? That’s what this is about.”
“Unless Mayor Pete does something dramatic, he’ll only win about 2% of naive voters who can’t find Ukraine on a map,” Sharpton said before praying over Buttigieg’s meal of fried chicken and collard greens.
“The King of Babylon can categorically state that Rep. Dingell is not here,” the ambassador said in a tweet from Hades followed by the hashtag “Impeach45”.
The Sacramento Brie attempted to confirm the report, but did not get an immediately reply on Russia’s biggest messaging app.
Faced with the President’s refusal to cooperate with the impeachment probe, Democrats will extradite Trump to China so he can be tried in a fair and neutral Communist Party-controlled court.