But first, a word from our sponsor. I’m Huey P. Newsom, and I use the new Utopia Jet Fuel because it’s the thickest, dankest, edible marijuana glue you’ve ever tasted.
“We expect more … appropriate demeanor, so you won’t see the Aztec Doctor dancing with the cheerleaders, but you will see him providing human sacrifices in the locker room,” said interim SDSU President Sally Roush.
Science expert Neil deGrasse Tyson said Pele could be punishing parents for driving sport utility vehicles that cause global warming.
“They’re white,” the lawsuit alleges. “And they sang that everybody should ‘wang chung tonight.’ Just knowing that this song exists makes our lives in Shanghai unbearable.”
“America is coming out of a period of unrestricted cultural piracy. What we need now is a cultural appropriation exclusion policy,” said Bernie Sanders.
Frederica Wilson knows how to rock a cowboy hat, and there’s nothing wrong with that because she was born on a ranch along the Chisolm Trail.
“We have garbage police at every street fair to make sure the addicted homeless gay illegal fetish queens are properly recycling their waste,” Newsom said. “Part of my plan to save the planet is to bring that culture to the State Capitol.”