U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres has announced a new plan to save millions of people from rising sea levels by the year 2031: Kill retirees who didn’t die the last time oceans didn’t rise.
Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) enlists Ben Shapiro as SecDef and says “we begin bombing coal plants in China and India 10 minutes after the inauguration.”
“My climate conscience will no longer allow me the convenience of flying around the state,” said Kounalakis. “If people want to meet, they can come here, where we measure our carbon footprint with a yardstick.”
Whether these killer storms and the looting were caused by global warming deniers or climate change deniers, what difference at this point does it make?
“It also appears that the adverb frequency inadvertently occurs in alphabetical order. We’re still trying to figure out how that happened.”
“Most people don’t want to think about catastrophe,” Brown told his audience on the beach in San Francisco. “I am not most people.”
CSUS was proud to join the network because “federal government money is imperative to maintaining this ginormous set of useless data.”