Experts estimate that 3 to 12 million people starved in the 1932-33 famine alone, and capitalist media censored the impact of climate change in favor of a narrative that blamed Socialism.
Sweden: “Obese people are each responsible for more than a ton of carbon dioxide emissions a year, equivalent to going on a transatlantic flight.”
“She threatened to put world leaders in front of a firing squad,” said an INTERPOL source. “The fact that she disappeared in the former Soviet bloc has not escaped us.”
Millennials on every continent expressed the same disbelief that the totality of their virtue could actually be harming the planet, but vegetarians were especially bewildered.
Clinton gave Newsom a red button with the word “Reset” in an ancient language of Native Americans, but Russian asset Tulsi Gabbard noted that the word actually translates as “Overcharge.”
“Science be damned. If you want the masses to care about climate change, you need people like me to get arrested at least once a week,” said Fonda.
“The schedule is challenging because Greta could be dead from climate change before she reaches the Pacific,” said expedition leader Mårten Thorslund.