‘Local’ newspapers see ‘73% increase’ in use of ‘scare quotes’
McClatchy CEO said “use of ‘scare quotes’ hasn’t risen above 37 percent since the AP Stylebook ordered every editor to use ‘undocumented’ instead of ‘illegal.'”
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‘Green New Toy’ program recalls billions of fossil fuel vehicles
After toddlers have been disenfranchised, Democratic Socialists expect to target gas-powered radio-controlled vehicles popular among teens and young adults.
After another $11 billion hike for bullet train, California gives up and buys ‘free personal helicopters for all’
“The ‘bullet train’ stopped being an actual bullet train when we realized we’d have to share low-speed track with local commuter and freight services,” said a worker in Fresno who asked to remain anonymous. “That was in 2012.”
Anti-Trump women find solidarity with creepy guys at Sacramento area strip club
“Democrats really are willing to do anything to prove that Donald Trump is a pervert,” said the club’s manager. “It’s been really good for business.”
Jerry Brown: ‘For great justice, all your bandwidths are belong to us. Lulz.’
Gov. Brown says his approach will make the Democrats’ spirit ultimately uncrushable. “You may think we’re playing Net Neutrality,” he said. “But be warned: We’re actually playing Something Awful.”
Empathy Project starts ‘insurgency of violent bitterness’ against electric scooters
“They throw them everywhere: in the ocean, in the sand, in the trash can,” said Charles Bukowski, a Venice Beach maintenance worker who regularly finds dismembered scooters on the boardwalk.
Governor introduces new social media challenge to empower young entrepreneurs
Scientists aren’t sure if the #CatPoopChallenge will inoculate California from Socialism or encourage our youth to try the world’s least successful business model.
