Green advertising must reaffirm the patriarchy to save the planet
“We don’t know exactly how or when it happened, but it appears that men prefer to buy things they identify with manliness,” scientists say.
Happy California cows treated for depression after Trump signs China trade deal
According to dairy farmers across the state, once-cheerful bovines are organizing “moo helplessly at the sky” events and seeking group therapy.
This happened when Climate Change activists told Millennials to stop buying $1,000 iPhones
Millennials on every continent expressed the same disbelief that the totality of their virtue could actually be harming the planet, but vegetarians were especially bewildered.
Starbucks: Correct change is racist because it ‘operates as whiteness’
“I’ve learned that correct change cannot be known objectively,” said one customer. “Next time I buy a $3 coffee with a $20 bill and only get $1 back, I’ll be eliminating a little bit of racism from the world.”
In bold tactical move, Joe Biden releases list of corporate boards that did not pay his sons
“Frankly, it’s just easier this way,” Joe Biden said after news broke that Hunter was paid to serve on the Amtrak Board of Directors because he spent a lot of time on trains.
Investing in California’s future, CalPERS buys majority stake in Chinese Red Army
CalPERS officially aligns itself with U.S. policy, but draws a bright red trail of dollars to Chinese intercontinental ballistic missiles, Muslim concentration camps, the NBA, and Hunter Biden.
Ex-scientist starts celebrity ‘wellness’ spa to combat climate change
“Science be damned. If you want the masses to care about climate change, you need people like me to get arrested at least once a week,” said Fonda.
