“When evil Christian restaurant owners force their workers to serve healthy food and be nice to people, we have to act,” said third-wave feminist Lovechild Vaginica.
Educational conditions under Common Core do not allow the plant to continue, but IKEA will do everything it can to help workers find less logical work.
“I wanted to show my support by letting Democrats buy the zero-cent penny so we can take their money and give it to people who have no money to spend,” said Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey.
“We’re very much in favor of death with dignity,” said the ACLU. “But we can’t allow people to be vaporized in the public right-of-way unless the euthanasia robot gets their affirmative consent.”
McClatchy CEO said “use of ‘scare quotes’ hasn’t risen above 37 percent since the AP Stylebook ordered every editor to use ‘undocumented’ instead of ‘illegal.'”
After toddlers have been disenfranchised, Democratic Socialists expect to target gas-powered radio-controlled vehicles popular among teens and young adults.
“The ‘bullet train’ stopped being an actual bullet train when we realized we’d have to share low-speed track with local commuter and freight services,” said a worker in Fresno who asked to remain anonymous. “That was in 2012.”