“A man needs an opinion about a woman’s uterus like a fish needs a bicycle,” said male feminist protester Auden Finch. “I’m outraged on behalf of all women.”
“I’ve spent years ranting against the excesses of the wealthiest Americans, and now I’m a member of the 1%,” the presidential contender admitted. “So I had the seven-pointed star carved into my forehead to prove my devotion to Our Revolution.”
The killdeer, or Charadrius vociferus, is protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act and derives its name from the Provençal word for “charade” and the Latin “vociferari.”
Elizabeth Warren is resisting the group’s identification with Motown, saying disco is more multicultural. “We should be paying tribute to the Village People.”
Justice Ginsburg said she drafted the new Constitution of the American Republic of Islam from her hospital bed in less than a week.
“Due to your sudden refusal to provide a government airplane for the Democratic majority’s seven-day excursion … we will be running train instead,” wrote the Speaker.
“Our goal is for the Senate to take its obligation to the American public seriously,” said Burleigh. “American women should be lining up with their Senate kneepads on to demand respect for women in positions of power.”