BREAKING: Leaders of anti-Trump Resistance cells are urging the public to protest the ineffectual Mueller Report by taking part in “Helplessly Set Yourself on Fire Day.”
“A sitting president just can’t unmask foreign intelligence assets hired by the Democrat Party to stage an honest coup,” said Brennan. “This is a serious and outrageous move on the part of Mr. Trump.”
“A man needs an opinion about a woman’s uterus like a fish needs a bicycle,” said male feminist protester Auden Finch. “I’m outraged on behalf of all women.”
“I’ve spent years ranting against the excesses of the wealthiest Americans, and now I’m a member of the 1%,” the presidential contender admitted. “So I had the seven-pointed star carved into my forehead to prove my devotion to Our Revolution.”
The killdeer, or Charadrius vociferus, is protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act and derives its name from the Provençal word for “charade” and the Latin “vociferari.”
Elizabeth Warren is resisting the group’s identification with Motown, saying disco is more multicultural. “We should be paying tribute to the Village People.”
Justice Ginsburg said she drafted the new Constitution of the American Republic of Islam from her hospital bed in less than a week.