Newsom: Smokey Bear and Woodsy Owl can come home, ‘on 1 condition’

The repatriation contract offered to Smokey and Woodsy stipulates they must freely and publicly admit — in perpetuity, with no royalties — that “Only Massive Government Spending Can Stop Climate-Caused Wildfires.”

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After another $11 billion hike for bullet train, California gives up and buys ‘free personal helicopters for all’

“The ‘bullet train’ stopped being an actual bullet train when we realized we’d have to share low-speed track with local commuter and freight services,” said a worker in Fresno who asked to remain anonymous. “That was in 2012.”