The city plans to eradicate hepatitis by paying the homeless and former felons to staff a network of “safe and clean” public bathrooms.
Every now and then, I remember it’s impossible to satirize Progressives so I write something that isn’t satire. The Brie will return to deluding itself tomorrow.
The next extinction-level event could begin 30,051 days from now, when the earth’s cumulative ocean uptake of carbon exceeds critical mass.
“I’m not even sure my penis is conceptual,” said President Nelsen. “How can I expect my students to know?”
The amount of energy wasted by automobile headlights would be dramatically reduced under new Democrat legislation.
One does not simply revoke the high ground from an activist without expecting a penalty. We politely suggest that you hire more armed security guards.
“We tried nonviolence,” said UC President Napolitano. “Marxist students at Evergreen really opened my eyes to the possibilities of violent suppression of imperialists.”