“The world looks to America for the values that unite us,” said Biden. “If we assert commonsense leadership, we can bring back the 12th Imam and ensure peace in our time.”
“Climate change is such a serious problem that anyone who opposes mass suicide to save the planet could be charged with human rights violations,” said ICC spokesperson Ekstere Vimem.
“The deaths began when President Obama said you can keep your doctor, and have been escalating ever since,” said a spokesman from Kaléo Pharmaceuticals, which is managing the trials.
Unexpectedly, the promotion took a dark twist on the morning of May 26 when Mrs. Clinton tweeted a bizarre question @Hasbro at 3:17 a.m. Pacific time.
“Jerry, take drink, you look little dehydrated, comrade,” said De Blasio after announcing enhanced surveillance of PS 149. “You seem little dehydrated, da? You are OK? Jerry?”
“The biggest source of CO2 emissions is skyscrapers that lack both efficiency and diversity,” said the mayor. “We’re making the Green New Deal come alive with prehistoric buildings that use renewable materials.”
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi excused Biden’s rant. “What else can we expect from the Vice President when Syracuse only made it to the round of 64 this year?”