That boy scout didn’t have a chance. His fate was sealed before he got off a commercial airliner in Baghdad to bring the scouting ethic to the war-torn country of Iraq.
The general poses a 0% threat to world peace, but hundreds were killed or injured in his hometown as his body was driven through the streets in a Chevy pickup built by the Great Satan himself.
“If true, a nuclear-armed flying horse of indeterminate gender puts all Americans at risk of nuclear conflagration,” said NBC’s Chuck Todd.
A new photo out of Iran shows that Revolutionary Guard leaders and staff are despondent after their failed attack on the American embassy in Baghdad.
Yesterday’s “spontaneous protest” outside the American embassy in Baghdad had “nothing to do with Iran and absolutely nothing to do with Benghazi,” said newly-appointed Quds Force commander Hillary Clinton.
A spokesman for the Islamic Revolutionary Guard said “Secretary Clinton was responsible for American deaths in the Middle East and will be an incredible advocate for Quds Force.”
“Trump cannot do a damn thing about Tehran’s solidarity with the LGBT community and your Democratic Party,” said Iran’s supreme leader.