“This campaign isn’t a democracy,” said Sanders’ CFO Yuri Larin. “It’s impossible to finish off capitalism without having finished off social democracy in the working-class movement.”
“We’re fighting the enemy on the International Front, the Industrial Front, the Political Front, and the Personal Front,” said hopeful Supreme Leader Warren. “But today we open the Military Front.”
Tom Perez apologized profusely and promised that Joe Biden would be the next candidate to kiss Lil Milquetoast, followed by Senators Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren.