James admitted that the NBA’s reputation has suffered a minor setback, but that 3 million new public portraits of himself have “helped all of us get through a difficult week.”
“LeBron knows we must never be afraid to do the wrong thing or to say the wrong thing or to even think the wrong thing,” said regional Party chief Chen Quanguo. “Friendly sports competition is so important to understand each other.”
Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) enlists Ben Shapiro as SecDef and says “we begin bombing coal plants in China and India 10 minutes after the inauguration.”
“They’re white,” the lawsuit alleges. “And they sang that everybody should ‘wang chung tonight.’ Just knowing that this song exists makes our lives in Shanghai unbearable.”
“California has a housing crisis. China has a housing glut. Jerry makes me proud to be a Socialist,” said Darrell Steinberg.
The technician boasts that no detail is spared to produce political robots that resemble a “real life human who cares.”