Mayor and news columnist meet in thought bubble, decide Jesus Christ was right: “The homeless will always be with us.”
“I wish we’d thought of enlisting a fascist dictator,” said one Guerrilla Girl. “It’s like our 35-year effort has been for nothing.”
By the year 2030, many video deepfakes will demand anti-human policies so absurd that everyone will believe the fakes are real Hollywood actors.
A source high on the Steinberg administration said the cartel leader was in Sacramento to provide intelligence about migrant border-crossing tactics in the El Centro and San Diego sectors.
Anti-colonial activists protesting the Monroe Doctrine ripped down a statue of President James Monroe’s wife on Wednesday, according to officials in Los Angeles.
“We’re very much in favor of death with dignity,” said the ACLU. “But we can’t allow people to be vaporized in the public right-of-way unless the euthanasia robot gets their affirmative consent.”
California Gov. Gavin Newsom ordered the Skull & Crossbones to be flown on Monday morning, signaling his official intent to rape, loot, and pillage the United States of America at his earliest opportunity.