“We need to upgrade every building in the country anyway,” said Ocasio-Cortez. “Why not kill two rats with one stone by starting that project in Los Angeles?”
“We only noticed these trash mountains when a government official got sick,” said Mayor Garcetti. “Experts say they may have always been there but no one of consequence noticed them before.”
Julian Assange, granted asylum by Ecuador in 2012, will travel by caravan to Los Angeles. Gov. Newsom has promised a “wall” to keep out the “enemy immigrant.”
“It definitely was not LeBron’s intent to hurt anybody,” said Tamika Mallory. “It is a compliment to say slave-owning Jews hold all the wealth, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a racist, especially that termite Zuckerberg.”
“They throw them everywhere: in the ocean, in the sand, in the trash can,” said Charles Bukowski, a Venice Beach maintenance worker who regularly finds dismembered scooters on the boardwalk.
“We recognize the need for change and are committed to a stable transition. Now, if you will excuse me, I have an appointment at Bohemian Grove,” Caruso said after the excommunication.