Journalist repeatedly broadcasts stories too good to be true, wonders why everyone hates her
“I’m just doing my job!” she said, dabbing wet mascara from her eyelids. “I don’t understand why no one believes me!”
LA Times journalists stage 'die in' after failing to immanentize the Obama eschaton
A decade after being convinced the disorder of the world could be transcended with smart power, journalists staged a “die in” at the company’s printing plant.
Iran gives Biden campaign $40 million for fake Trump head, George Lopez demands half
Experts say Iran’s donation is legal under international law because the fake Trump head was delivered by a Middle East proxy working for former Obama administration Secretary of State John Kerry.
Supreme Leader of Iran to play drums on James Taylor's 2020 'Twelver Tour' of Canada
“Mr. Khamenei is perfect because he’s a Twelver, we’re playing 12 dates, and I feel this deep need to apologize to Iran for the spontaneous protest of the American embassy in Baghdad,” Taylor said.
Marianne Williamson buys Jim Carrey artwork after mistaking him for Charles Manson
It’s unknown if purchasers of Carrey’s artwork can obtain refunds.
NBA hawks ‘free tampons for all’ as apology for bowing to Marxists
The NBA says it will force vendors to hawk menstrual products to fans of all genders as a way of saving face in the geopolitical firestorm it ignited by groveling for Communist Party dollars.
Waymo 3D mapping project discovers ‘Bronze Age Los Angeles’ in Los Angeles
At least Hammurabi demanded an eye for an eye. You lose an eye on the mean streets of Bronze Age LA, good luck getting Mayor Garcetti to pay up.
