Julian Assange, granted asylum by Ecuador in 2012, will travel by caravan to Los Angeles. Gov. Newsom has promised a “wall” to keep out the “enemy immigrant.”
“My climate conscience will no longer allow me the convenience of flying around the state,” said Kounalakis. “If people want to meet, they can come here, where we measure our carbon footprint with a yardstick.”
The group will organize around International Women’s Day instead, and explore the possibility of importing more foreign black women by ship to improve diversity.
“It definitely was not LeBron’s intent to hurt anybody,” said Tamika Mallory. “It is a compliment to say slave-owning Jews hold all the wealth, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a racist, especially that termite Zuckerberg.”
“Imagine never having to worry about a dictator,” said Newsom. “EVOTE will enable smart, forward-thinking Democratic leaders to bear the burden of voting on behalf of all the people.”
California’s favorite cis-gendered son was banned from “the playground” at San Francisco’s famous fetish festival this weekend, but his steely-dan gaze and fabulous hair made a magnificent impression on voters at the suspension booth.
Saint Colin prays with Occupy and firebombs a series of naval bases before being ensconced in a palatial home and preparing himself with spiritual rigor for his pitch to the Goddess Nike.