“This Socialism shit is better than anything, man,” said one Democrat voter. Another used hand signals to indicate how bummed he was that Bernie didn’t do some fentanyl with him and his crew.
“I’ve seen Carrey’s art. It reminds me of Charles. And not in a good way,” said a former LAPD detective.
The Sacramento Bee insulted CalEPA employees of color, saying rats are “infesting the courtyard” and the daycare is “crawling with vermin.”
“When evil Christian restaurant owners force their workers to serve healthy food and be nice to people, we have to act,” said third-wave feminist Lovechild Vaginica.
“We’re building concentration camps not unlike those on the southern border,” said Mayor Steinberg. “Would Mr. Rogers do that? No. But what else would he do if he was in my shoes?”
Women won’t work in the sewers because they’re too cold and filthy. A new plan would add adjustable thermostats and hot showers in key underground areas.
“Once we force gig workers to join a union, clock in at 8 a.m. and take their breaks on schedule, they won’t feel like wage slaves anymore,” Warren said.