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The Sacramento Brie

With government cheese, everything is a wedge issue

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Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.
  • Washington DC

Census Bureau Announces $45M Dominion Census Systems Contract

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 30, 2020
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  • Hollywood

National Origin A Social Construct, Declares Baldwin

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 29, 2020
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  • Washington DC

Former VP Biden Addresses Hunter Crack Pipe Pics

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 28, 2020
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  • Washington DC

President-in-Waiting Elect Harris Announces Bold Immigration Initiative

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 28, 2020
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  • Sacramento

Guest Farm Worker Program Under Scrutiny

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 26, 2020
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  • Sacramento

New Queso Joins The Brie

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on December 23, 2020
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Greengrocers of the world, unite!

All you have to lose are your illusions.

Vaclav Havel once described the “post-totalitarian” system in Czechofornia as “an extremely flexible ideology that, in its elaborateness and completeness, is almost like a secularized religion.”

“The principle involved here,” Havel said, “is that the center of power is identical with the center of truth.”

If your “metaphysical and existential certainties" are “being uprooted and alienated” by this religion, just say no to its “hypnotic charm.”

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