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The Sacramento Brie

With government cheese, everything is a wedge issue

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Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.
  • New York

Cuomo Invites Party Leaders To Albany For Talks

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on March 1, 2021
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  • Washington DC

VP Harris Urges Senate To Speed Up Confirmation Of Biden Cabinet Nominees

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on March 1, 2021
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  • Texas

Biden Stuns Country With State Of The Union Speech In Texas

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 28, 2021
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  • Washington DC

White House Implements New Dress Code, COVID Testing Subsidy For WHCA

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 27, 2021
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  • Washington DC

White House Plan To Charge Journalists for COVID Tests Sparks Outrage

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 27, 2021
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  • Delaware

President’s Son Fumbles Nuclear Football, Strikes Syria

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 26, 2021
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  • Spain

American Holloway Smashes Women’s World Indoor 60m Hurdles Record

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 25, 2021
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  • Washington DC

Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett Unmasked

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 24, 2021
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  • Florida

Trump To Haley: I’m Just Not That Into You

  • by Girth McFestus
  • Posted on February 20, 2021
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Greengrocers of the world, unite!

All you have to lose are your illusions.

Vaclav Havel once described the “post-totalitarian” system in Czechofornia as “an extremely flexible ideology that, in its elaborateness and completeness, is almost like a secularized religion.”

“The principle involved here,” Havel said, “is that the center of power is identical with the center of truth.”

If your “metaphysical and existential certainties" are “being uprooted and alienated” by this religion, just say no to its “hypnotic charm.”

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