The Good Old Samaritan Party said the Son of Man never offered or withheld military aid, but did meet with Zealots, prostitutes, and tax collectors without any quid pro quo.
It’s unknown if purchasers of Carrey’s artwork can obtain refunds.
Act now and you’ll receive a free cloth or something that provides no protection of any kind for people whose names are not Hillary Clinton.
Millennials on every continent expressed the same disbelief that the totality of their virtue could actually be harming the planet, but vegetarians were especially bewildered.
The Party almost nominated Biden after he recalled facing down razor-toting gang members. His gravitas has only grown since he threatened to kick Putin out of Ukraine armed only with a 6-foot length of chain.
Sports apparel powerhouse Nike has announced a new football cleat designed to help Colin Kaepernick get a job.
“Product tainted with flesh-eating bacteria can be returned to the point of sale or dropped off at the mayor’s office of any sanctuary city,” Newsom said.