“Stay out of it, Mr Putin. If elected president, trust me, I will end your interference in American elections even if it means voting to impeach myself,” Sander said.
“Those RV’s were dumping 30- to 40-, 50-gallons of raw sewage right onto the beach,” said Malibu councilmember Jefferson Wagner. “So we appreciate the Markles for stepping up.”
“Unlike privileged white porn workers, brown undocumented porn workers already know how to safely operate industrial sex machines,” said Cristina Garcia (D-Bell Gardens).
In the billiard room, Van Dyke noted that “Bernie would have let Stalin take the entire city of Berlin if he’d been President in 1945, and I don’t understand why people of my generation aren’t voting for him.”
“There’s no justification for homes like this to be vacant,” said Sen. Nancy Skinner. “My new law incentivizes corporations to actually put people like Bob in great fixer-upper homes like this cardboard box.”
Under a program whimsically nicknamed “The Goolag Archipelago,” anyone who repeatedly fails to pick up their own poop from the sidewalk, or misgenders an officer of the Homeless Inquisition, could spend six months in a mental health camp.
A photograph of Bernie Sanders relaxing in his “summer cabin” was released by the Bloomberg campaign after tonight’s Democrat debate in Las Vegas.