President Biden Slips In Shower, Knocks Out Senator Romney

On Monday, Senator Mitt Romney (Cuck-UT) appeared in public with a black eye and stitches in his eyebrow. When pressed for details, he made the following statement.

“On Saturday night, President Biden was playing with his wiener in the shower while I watched. He slipped and struck me in the face, which knocked me out. When I came to, Dr. Jill Biden was performing an emergency COVID anal swab procedure on me, which probably saved my life.”

This is the second time in recent months that President Biden has experienced a fall in the bathroom. In December, he broke his foot when he slipped in the shower after pulling his dog’s tail.

“We strongly discourage the practice of showering with one’s pets,” a prominent animal rights group told Sac Brie reporters. “As tempting as it is to use a wire-haired terrier as a loofa, it’s dangerous to both dog and human.”

President Biden’s dog, a dachshund named “Little Joe”, was not injured in the incident.

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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