VP Harris Urges Senate To Speed Up Confirmation Of Biden Cabinet Nominees

In a statement released Monday morning, Vice President Harris called on the Senate to speed up the confirmation process for the remaining unfilled Biden cabinet posts.

“It’s critical for the future of my presidency that the Senate quickly fulfill their constitutional duty regarding President Biden’s cabinet selections,” read the statement. “While the Twenty-Fifth Amendment allows for acting department secretaries to participate in the process of declaring the president unable to discharge his duties, it’s vital that permanent secretaries join me so my coup appears legitimate.”

Members of the Biden administration reacted angrily to the statement.

“I don’t know where this idea comes from that Joe isn’t competent,” Dr. Jill Biden told members of the White House press corps. “Just this morning, after I fed him his morning boiled carrot mush and administered his daily COVID anal swab, Joe looked over his shoulder, and for a second I’m sure he recognized me.”

On a related note, President Biden’s cabinet has agree to meet VP Harris at the Theatre of Pompey in Rome, Italy, on March 15th.

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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