Biden Stuns Country With State Of The Union Speech In Texas

During a speech in Texas on Saturday, President Joe Biden stunned the country when he delivered his five-word State of the Union address:

“What am I doing here?”

Biden’s succinct and no-malarkey assessment of the state of the country caught his Republican detractors flatfooted, and their hasty five-word rebuttal reflected their astonishment, along with a rare glimmer of bipartisanship.

“We wonder the same thing.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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