White House Plan To Charge Journalists for COVID Tests Sparks Outrage

Beginning March 1st, the White House will charge each member of the press corps that enters the White House grounds $170 for required COVID testing every time they enter. An anonymous source inside the White House Correspondents Association (WHCA) had this to say:

“This new policy is outrageous. We’ve been reporting what they told us to for decades, and now we have to pay for the privilege?

Another source with access to confidential WHCA correspondence, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said this:

“We’ve humiliated ourselves for years, but daily anal swabbing by the White House COVID Rapid Testing Team, led by Dr. Jill Biden, is too much. This isn’t China, and we don’t care if Representative Swalwell pays $500 a day to have has his anus swabbed by his Chinese intelligence handlers.”

The WHCA is planning a demonstration on Sunday, Feb 28th, to protest the new policy. Pre-printed signs and t-shirts declaring, “My Anus, My Choice” and “Keep Your Hands Off My Polyps”, have been distributed to all members.

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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