White House Implements New Dress Code, COVID Testing Subsidy For WHCA

In an effort to speed up daily COVID testing for members of the White House Correspondence Association, Dr. Jill Biden has announced a new dress code for members of the press.

“Starting Monday March 1st, all WHCA members seeking access to the White House will be required to wear ass-less leather chaps,” she stated in a virtual press conference. “After rigorous testing, ass-less chaps have proven to be the quickest way for me and my medical staff to conduct required anal swab COVID testing.”

To facilitate the new dress code, Dr. Jill Biden signed an Executive Order for her husband that authorized members of the WHCA to submit expense claims for the purchase of ass-less chaps, and she also enacted an 0bamacare subsidy so reporters could afford the nearly $200 per test the White House is now charging them.

“It’s not fair that the WHCA should bear the costs of our policies,” she said when asked about the subsidy and reimbursements. “Americans understand that the freedom of the press isn’t free, and our sense is that they won’t object to an increase in their personal income tax rate to fund it.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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