Sac Brie Quick Take: White House Press Office Denies Polling Reporters

In a strongly-worded statement, the White House Press Office denied polling reporters for their questions before scheduled press briefings.

“Not only do we deny these reports, but we find the very idea reprehensible and contrary to the ideal of the American free press,” the statement read in part.

Press Secretary Psaki expounded on the statement as her aides distributed pamphlets with the day’s approved questions to reporters prior to the most recent presser.

“We don’t ask what questions the reporters intend to pose. Any claims to the contrary are incorrect and part of a larger right wing conspiracy of fake news.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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