Sac Brie Quick Take: Fauci Leads Protest Against Chavez Oval Office Bust

The highest-paid government employee in the U.S., Dr. Anthony Fauci, led a protest today over President Biden’s decision to place a bust of Cesar Chavez, the legendary civil rights and organized labor leader, in the Oval Office.

“Mmfff hmf bmff! Mmfff hmf bmff!” Fauci and his supporters chanted through five layers of masks as they burned American flags and vandalized nearby police vehicles. “Mask the bust!”, Fauci’s government-funded American Sign Language interpreter signed through her Bernie Sanders Limited Edition mittens.

The mostly peaceful socially distant protest ended when four of the eight protesters tested positive for Covid-19 after mandatory anal swab testing, and two others suffocated from trying to breathe through too many masks.

A CDC employee, who spoke on the condition of anonymity from a beach in Puerto Rico, told Sac Brie that the demonstration was a necessary gesture.

“What message does it send to the American people when they see a maskless bust? If we’re going to follow the science and flatten the curve, then we all need to be in it together. A year of fear-mongering and virtue signaling will have been wasted if we don’t hold everyone accountable, including our highest elected officials.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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