Sac Brie Quick Take: White House ASL Interpreter Signs “Help”, “Torture”, “Salute The Marines”

Sac Brie investigative reporters have learned that the White House American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter has been relieved of her duties pending an investigation into her political affiliation. Wanda Tenfingers was alleged to have signed what President Biden actually said during his inauguration instead of what was written on the teleprompter, leading administration officials to suspend her.

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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