On Sunday, the presidential motorcade stopped for approximately ten minutes while First Son Hunter Biden picked up a take out order of bagels from a popular Georgetown deli.
“Some media sources reported that Hunter Biden made the presidential motorcade wait while he purchased narcotics from a street dealer,” read a statement from the White House. “We categorically deny this report. First Son Hunter purchased eight bagels, not eight balls. Since the inauguration of his father, First Son Hunter Biden’s crack cocaine has been delivered to the White House by the president’s old friend from Delaware, Corn Pop.”
In a related story, an anonymous source told Sac Brie investigative journalists that the First Son is under consideration for the post of Administrator for the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration.