Apple CEO Tim Cook said today that his company – the first trillion dollar corporation in the history of the world – has been given the honor of livestreaming President-Elect Joe Biden’s inaugural address to every screen in America.
“We’ve never been at war with Republicans, and we’re proud that we can help liberate America from the Trump dictatorship,” Cook said, adding that Apple couldn’t have pulled this off alone.
“The President-Elect has given us permission to use the Emergency Alert System to make sure everyone gets the signal, even if they don’t have a social media app installed,” Cook said, adding that Google, Twitter, Facebook, and all the mainstream media outlets in the entire country are also participating.
“All good Americans are united in the effort to make sure everyone has the freedom to hear Joe Biden whether they want to or not,” Cook said humbly. “But that’s just who we are.”
