Sac Brie Quick Take: Honduran Inauguration Delegation Begins Journey To U.S.

The 7,000-strong Honduran delegation to the Harris/Biden inauguration began their long journey to the United States on Saturday, Guatemalan sources told the Sac Brie. U.S. officials estimate the inauguration caravan will be joined by 18,000 Guatemalans and another 45,000 Mexicans, bringing the Central American representation to 70,000.

“We are thrilled that so many of our sisters and brothers will be able to make it to the inauguration,” said Mike Hunt, assistant inauguration press officer. “We are pleased to announce that President Harris/Biden will preside over a naturalization ceremony for all attendees immediately after the inauguration, followed by a Democrat Party voter registration drive.”

When pressed for details, Hunt admitted that because of the virtual nature of the inauguration, anyone who viewed the ceremony on television or the internet would be counted as an attendee and would be eligible for American citizenship.

“We could end up with 7.6 billion American citizens, spread out around the world, which would go a long way to President Harris/Biden fulfilling a campaign promise to spread democracy around the globe.”

Author: Girth McFestus

As an infant, Girth McFestus was discovered living with a family of wolves near Chernobyl, Ukraine. An American flag-shaped birthmark on his back caused Ukrainian officials to contact the American embassy, and Girth was repatriated to the U.S. as part of a business deal by the shadowy organized crime figure known only as "The Big Guy." His home is now where he hangs his hat, and the world is his oyster.

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